It’s been a while. Life has completely taken over. Yazzie has completely taken over.
I feel like my hustling, business mind is back. Mom Brain is still in affect. But my drive is in full force now. I’m more determined than ever to build our brand and legacy and show Yazzie from an early age that hustling spirit. I want her to be around powerful and business minded people. Go getters. Bosses.
And that’s exactly what I plan to do: have her around BOSSES.
A mom.
Momprenuer.
An ULTRA momprenuer.
That’s my new title. And it’s all because of this little human who will be turning 1 in less than a month!!! (Goodness! Where did time go?)
By the way, It’s Mother’s Day.
I’m filled with such mixed emotions about it…… I’ve been asked numerous times “this is your first Mother’s Day isn’t it?” ….. and I answer “yes” with a smile… and it feels accurate to agree…. then my heart feels guilty that I do agree. Even if it’s just to avoid the conversation that I don’t have just Yazzie that I’m a mama to two. Because in the flesh and earthside, it’s evident I’m a mama to just Yazzie. But my heart and soul knows I have two.
Everyones excitement for me is genuine and filled with so much love that I get to celebrate my first official year being a mom. And I’m embracing it all, at the same time I feel borderline shamed.
Like I’ve fed into it and have forgotten, even for a quick moment that last year Mother’s Day, to me, was my first Mother’s Day.
I woke up excited and sad today. As I’m grateful for the opportunity….. but I’m also reminded of the missing pieces. This day will forever be stamped in my memory for bittersweet reasons because on this day 2 years ago, I celebrated the news of being pregnant with our first.
Will this grief ever get easier? It seems to get harder as time passes.
Overall, I am happy and blessed…. that I am a mama of TWO.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you amazing women!!!!
Dala the Doula 